I am officially the worst "blogger" ever {am I even considered a "blogger"?}. Regardless, it has been TOO long since I've updated! Most of you already know, WE GOT A BABY!!!!!!! 2 months ago today to be exact. The past two months have been a complete blur, so I will try and summarize it without boring you to tears.
In the beginning of October, our caseworker called us to tell us of a possible match. The birthmom was only about 2-3 months pregnant, due in April, but was considering the adoption route. She had some health problems that were a risk of being passed to the baby, but after some in depth research {and time on our knees praying} we decided it was worth the risk. We believed that if this was the baby for us, then it would work out the way it was supposed to. It was only a 5% chance that this particular disease would actually be passed to the baby.
Just over a week later {October 15th}, the caseworker called and said she needed to speak to both Richard and I. {For those of you who don't know, my new job that I started since my last update is working for my dad, where my husband also happens to work}. So I immediately called Richard and told him he needed to come to the office. Both of us assumed that it was regarding the April baby, but boy were we wrong! Our caseworker asked if we were sitting down…and then dropped the bomb. There was a match for us, and this baby was already born! She told us that he had been born on October 1, he was healthy and ready to be placed. WHAT?!
From here it was a whirlwind. Faxes, phone calls, praying, maybe a little shopping, more praying, waiting, lawyers, praying, and more praying.
Our case was a bit of a complicated one. This baby had been born, and the birth mother knew from the get go that she was not going to parent him. However, she had a close friend that wanted to adopt him. That was their game plan. Unfortunately for them, but fortunately for us, they did not have their ducks in a row, and no one in that circle needed to be parenting any children. The friend had good intentions, but just didn't have her life together in a way that was suitable to raise a child. They brought the baby home from the hospital and from my understanding, he was home for a VERY short while before the cops were called out for a domestic dispute, and upon their arrival, found drugs in the home. DCF was immediately called, and they removed the baby. From that point on, he was in foster care.
Typically, when a baby is in foster care, there are options such as the birth mom getting a court appointed case plan {which often includes substance abuse classes, anger management, parenting classes etc..} and gets a chance to get herself together and get her baby back. After a certain amount of time, her rights may be terminated if she does not comply. Or, she may surrender her rights, and the child becomes available for adoption through foster care. With this situation, the friend and birth mom both decided they wanted to choose where he ended up. Enter, our adoption agency. The friend and birth mom chose us to parent this child. That's when we got the phone call.
To further complicate things, the birth mom was still legally married, making the "husband" the legal father {but biologically, there was no way it was him. She was here, and he was living in a different state}. So we had to jump through some hoops on this one. Our caseworker had to mail him some paperwork to sign stating that he did not want custody of this child. She told me this was going to take a few weeks between court hearings and having to mail the paper work for him back and forth. She told me "if it happens by Halloween, it'll be a miracle". So my reply {naturally} was "Well, I don't know about you, but my God is a God of miracles, and I am believing that we will have a miracle".
There was a court hearing scheduled for Halloween, and thats when we would know for sure if we were getting him. The judge would have to grant access for the baby to be released from DCF custody, to our agency and then to us. So the outcome was unknown. But Halloween morning, at around 10:00, we got the call that changed our lives forever! It was our caseworker and she said "Can you be here in 2 hours to come pick up your baby?" OMG. 2 hours. The place we had to go to was just over an hour away. We rushed home from work, got our stuff together and hauled butt up there! That was the longest drive of our lives! The last time we would be just the two of us. With butterflies in our tummies, we parked and quickly walked into the building. Prior to this day, the caseworker had kept telling us that the birth mom did not want to meet us, but that her best friend did. We had agreed to that. The morning of, when she told us court was over, she also told us that the birth mom did in fact want to meet us. I was nervous, scared, and hesitant. I didn't know how I would feel seeing her face to face. It's such a strange feeling, caring about this person you've never met, and will probably never meet again, because she is giving you the biggest gift anyone could ever give you. She gave us a family. She chose better for this precious baby. She chose us. I knew it would be hard to see her. What do you say? I can't imagine what she must have been feeling. Nervously, we walked in, and saw her sitting there, with our son, and her best friend. She handed him right to us. We talked, mostly about the baby, took some pictures all together, she showed us pictures of his siblings (2 others, who were adopted by family members), and then they were on their way. Just like that. We signed some papers, and then were told we could go.
It was such a strange feeling, showing up to an office with just the two of us, and leaving an hour later as a family of 3.
Since it was Halloween, we headed straight for the pumpkin patch! I know it may seem ridiculous, but I couldn't think of a better way to document his first Halloween! We took a few pictures, went to meet some family and then to a small gathering with our closest friends and trick or treating. I was able to have two weeks off work, and my sister and mom came into town. He was big news in our family…he's the first baby in years!
A week and a half later, my friends and family threw me the most beautiful baby shower ever! I still can't wrap my brain around how they threw it together so fast! We were beyond blessed with every gadget, toy and cute article of clothing that they make! So many of our friends and family just rallied around us and made sure this baby knew he was loved! That is one thing he will NEVER have to doubt!
Soon after that, we hit the ground running trying to get into a routine. We had to leave out of town for a wedding in the Keys that I was in, so that was interesting traveling with him after just having him for 2 weeks, We were still trying to find the right formula, and then he got a cold on top of it. He was gassy and miserable. Thank God he has an amazing daddy who took great care of him, while we did girly wedding stuff :) We made the best of it and had an amazing time and the most beautiful wedding!!
We returned from the trip and I went back to work. My amazing sister in law watches him full time while we work. She has a 6 year old, a 4 year old and at the time of his arrival, her youngest baby was 3 months old. They are exactly 2 months apart to the day! {He was already a month old when we got him.} She has been watching him everyday since then, and I'm pretty sure that her daughter and him think they are twins! They hold hands and reach for each other. Sweetest thing EVER. It gets harder and harder to leave him everyday, but if he isn't going to be with me, being with them is the next best thing.
We have settled nicely into a routine, and I just can't imagine life without him! My hubby is the most amazing daddy. He changes diapers, makes bottles and helps without having to be asked. I hit the jackpot in that department! Right now, we just wait until we get finalized, and then he is legally "ours"! That should be happening in the beginning of February. I can't wait until that day, because that means no more DCF visits, no more visits from our agency, no more court dates, no more questions. We will be able to make all decisions from there on out. Right now, the state still has a lot of say regarding different things, which don't really coincide with what I want. One more month. I can do it!
I know this was extremely long, and I'm sure I've lost about 98% of you by now, but I just want to say….GOD IS SO GOOD! I can't even believe that this is OUR story. The ways God has moved through this, how it was strengthened relationships with people and with Him, how He has revealed Himself through the process is just amazing. He has proved Himself faithful, once again.
Needless to say, 2013 was a great year. It's coming to an end in just a few short hours, and I wanted to get everyone updated by the end of it :) Here's to an even more amazing 2014!
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…" Philippians 1:6
“'What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived' the things God has prepared for those who love him" 1 Corinthians 2:9
"For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36
